by lubaba mukhtar
There’s a fun in doing things that are unconventional and
different. An onlooker, an ordinary student who sits “on” the bench and listens
to lectures thinks that a student who hides behind the last bench is doing so
just for the fun of it. But alas; not many can understand the dire
circumstances and heart wrenching problems that pushed that poor soul behind
the last bench.
Imagine for a moment the agony of sitting “on” a hard bench;
imagine the pain that a person has to go through when he has to fake
concentration on his face during a mind boggling, boring to death lecture;
imagine the trouble he has to go through to stifle a wide, open mouthed, ugly
yawn.
Yes, this is exactly how stupid you look when you
yawn “on” the bench…
Nobody; seriously nobody looks pretty when yawning;
it is an ugly phenomenon
I admit that plugging headsets for music to avoid listening
to the lecture can be easily accomplished while sitting “on” the bench, but
just imagine the freedom, the liberty, the exuberance of sitting on the cold
stone floor, away from curious staring eyes behind the last bench.
Sitting and enjoying the trip behind the last bench is not as
easy as it looks, it is a very complicated procedure.
You need to have the right motives to go and sit in this
awesome place. I can give a few good instances; you started a novel the
previous night and you can just not wait for the dragging lecture to end and
you need a little privacy from the world to finish off the novel: “behind the
last bench is the perfect place to go.”
A class test has been announced or perhaps a stage is looming
right ahead; “behind the last bench is the best place to concentrate on that
bright red conspicuous BD that is so easily visible in the physiology lecture.”
You didn't have your required beauty sleep the previous night
and you hate arching your back and lulling yourself to sleep with your head on
the hard bench and the fear of becoming suddenly visible to the teacher; yes,
again the best thing to do is to wipe off some off the dirt with your overall
from the floor, use your bag as a pillow and lie down to a peaceful one hour
nap behind the last bench (what’s a better lullaby than the sound of a boring
lecture?)
I forgot to mention that you can take a small
blanket in your bag; books can stay behind for a day, they won’t die without
you!!
You are extremely hungry, really want a snack; the best
picnic spot is again behind the last bench.
Some of you would be confused as to why these behind the last
benchers just don’t leave the class. Pretty simple; they sit in class to show
their solidarity and harmony with their fellow students (and of course for the
process that is absolutely life threatening for a poor medical student: THE
attendance)
There are certain precautions to be taken if you wish to
become a behind a last bencher.
You need to have loyal friends who will sit on the second
last bench and hide your vast mass from the eyes of the teacher and will give
you a back kick in warning if the teacher decides to tour the back benches out
of the blue.
You need to have a very important weapon with you; it is
impossible to become a behind the last bencher without this weapon: “a little
courage and daring.”
You also need to possess some important qualities:
The ability to never feel humiliation or insult if and when
you are caught,
And to tell the most beautiful and honest lies if and when
you are caught.
You can perform all kinds of important tasks behind the last
bench and believe me that a day behind the last bench is not a day wasted.
P.S: try this at your risk and any problems that arise should
not be blamed on this innocent article.