by Konpal Mudassar
Here I am in
a happy place, a place with unicorns flying in the sky, rainbows everywhere,
waterfalls and free food for everyone. And I am the Queen.
But wait! What is that? A monster? To destroy
my kingdom? Don’t worry, my people, your queen will protect you. I change my
beautiful gown and put on my ninja costume. Boom! BOOM! Take that! I try to
fight the monster but it is getting stronger. My kingdom is fading away and
suddenly I wake up from my dreams.
I discover
that the monster was actually my roommate. The poor soul was only trying to
wake me up for Lecture. God bless her, she is so kind that she doesn’t reveal
two things:
First, how
long she had been trying to wake me up.
Second, how
she had endured a few violent swings of my arm directly on her face in trying
to do so.
And here let
me take a moment to say that my roommates deserve “The patience and endurance
prize” for trying to wake me up in the morning everyday despite my verbal and
physical abuse.
(Let’s just
say that’s not really rainbows coming out of my mouth)
As, I make
my way slowly to bathroom. I cannot describe my feelings. I feel like a person
persecuted to a death-sentence. I don’t deserve this. I am too cute to die like
this. L
But when I
come back to the room. There is a complete 180 degree shift in my mood. “Do
I have to get up?” phase is gone and now comes the much more dangerous,
“I have no worry in the world phase”………I look at my roommates who are
almost ready now and are all running around the room frantically.
And I laugh
a little thinking, “What’s the hurry? Silly girls, there is a lot of time,
these idiots worry too much”……and then, I waste 5 minutes just standing in
the middle of the room as one by one my roommates leave and I am the only one
left. But, no, that doesn’t bother me! I am way too cool to be worried by
something like that. I still take my time and when I finally get ready, I lock
the room. As I go down the stairs, I discover that I am wearing Bathroom
slippers (cool, right?)….No worries, I’ll just go back up and change. Open
lock, get nice shoes, and lock again, there! That only took me 10 minutes! I make my way to the lecture theatre AGAIN,
taking my time to appreciate the beauties of nature: the sun, the trees, the
pigeons. It’s a perfect morning!
I heave a
sigh of relief as I see the open doors. Now, I start walking fast but just as I
am about to enter, I get the door slammed right on my beautiful face.
Well, first
of all, that hurt! Ouch! Secondly, that
is not fair!
In that
moment, all my struggle from getting up to walking this far flashes before my
eyes. And that is when I feel like banging my head against the door and
screaming like crazy. But, I can’t vent my anger like that, the teacher will come
out and probably kill me. (can’t risk dying this young)
For the next
lecture, I make sure I am the first one to reach the lecture theater. I occupy
the best pankhay_wali_seat. And when someone asks, “Can I sit next to you?’ I
say, “Nope”.
“This is
taken”. And THAT is my revenge, Destiny, You think you can slam doors on my
face and I won’t do anything about it?
this is what I CAN DO!!
As the
lecture starts, I make sure I listen to each and every word very carefully. I
make notes, draw diagrams, and nod in agreement to everything the Teacher
utters. I do everything right!
And Woopie, it’s
time for attendance. I wait patiently for my roll no and when it is called, I
raise my hand straight up and perfectly pronounce, “Present”.
There,
Mission successful.
So, you can
imagine my feelings when I hear the words, “Girls, since you like to talk so
much, all of you will be marked ABSENT.”
And I am
like:
I cannot
describe the pain I feel in that moment. I feel like I can’t breathe and someone
has literally stabbed me in my heart. I woke up, labored all day! For this?
That must be
my karma for not letting that nice girl sit next to me in this heat. Well,
Karma or not, that is when I say, “Good day, Sir, I am outta here”
“And I am
never coming back, if you need me, I will be in my room, sleeping. At least sleeping
has its rewards in the form of flawless skin and live_till_you_are_90_health
and not to mention the rainbows.”
After that
emotional speech, you would expect to never see me in university again but
TADA! I am back after my 1 day “REST”. But now, as I try to estimate my attendance;
tears come to my eyes.
My
attendance is so poor that any effort that I make at this point would be so “Pointless”.
Fixing my
attendance like:
the irreparable damage :'(
I have a 5
minute surge (only 5 minutes, not a second longer), and I make no effort to
shake off my title “Mother of all things lazy”.
The point
is, I am surely not going to change. I am just stubborn like that. The more you
put restrictions on me, the more I will be forced to rebel. If they think that
closing the door will make me punctual then they are wrong. I will just stop
trying to get in the first lecture. :D
My laziness
triumphs all!
P.S:“I
hope to see you all in the repeaters, if not all; at least some of you can
come?”