UNOFFICIAL SOCIETIES AT KEMU:
by lubaba mukhtar
We have been introduced to many official societies at KEMU, but in the students’ underworld, exist many unofficial or “2 number” societies.
KEGS (King Edward “ghora” society:
This society has the maximum members from every class at KEMU, the reason being that majority of the students are ghoras at our university: all running and tumbling to achieve the best in studies. The members of this society are popularly known as theetas and although the main motto of the members of this society is to never accept that they belong to it, they’re pretty easy to identify even when they wear the camouflage of “cool people”. There’s such a competition in this society that the identification and crowning of the president has never been possible. I can unabashedly state that every student of our university has at least once in his/her life been a member of this prestigious society but that’s not very surprising, is it? After all they are undoubtedly crème de la crème. Members of this society strongly believe in the famous quote:
The non-members of this society “the gadhaas” are often seen placing their bets on their most favourite ghora for different major and minor races (tests, substages, stages and “the prof”), always an interesting site because the winner is always unpredictable.
This society is not that well known because of the dormancy and innocence of its members. It consists of the sleeping beauties and snoring hulks of every class. It is the most harmless society to have ever existed, its members spend their time drooling and sleeping innocently in all the lectures and classes, the most torturous time for the members of this society is during the D.H where they are seen staggering bleary eyed looking more like:
“I love sleep, my life seems to fall apart when I’m awake”
The greater proportion of this society are the sleeping beauties because the hulks usually sit right in front of the antagonists of this society (teachers) but their courage and gallantry is matchless when they embrace the president of their society “sleep” right under the lion’s nose. Their nerve and valor are talked about all over the university and are the light of guidance for many more suffering and agonized students.
Long live the innocents!!!
Some mottos of the innocents:
Beware!! They may be innocent but can be deadly when disturbed…
Sleep is the best meditation!!!
KPS (kemcolians proxy society):
The most widely acclaimed, the most loved, the most stylish; and the society holding the most talented and most gallant of all people who risk their own respect, their own prestige and honour to help a helpless brother or sister. (How touching!!) I know that the statement above was a little biased but what can I do, it’s everyone’s favourite society! The members of this society have the kindest hearts and the most benevolent souls and the most considerate thoughts, they sit in the class and endure the mind boggling lectures when their pals are having a “tea and samosa party” or “coke and shawarma party” in the café. No one, seriously no one in the whole world can imagine the magnitude of their selflessness and their spirit of harmony with their fellow students when they sit on the hard wooden benches and get their brains churned and roiled with biochemistry and physiology only to get their own and their pal’s attendance marked. (Almost got my tear glands activated!!)
And when those paradigms of sacrifice are caught, oh it’s almost like they died taking bullet for a friend (but this happens only once in a blue moon). The members of this society are well trained and can be trusted blindly.
The most sympathetic society to have ever existed…
KEWS (King Edward wild society):
This is a unique society whose members dwell in the shadows and do not like to exhibit their talent in the open. They have the innate ability of voicing a different animal every time they vibrate their vocal cords. They are inborn ventriloquists and not just ordinary ones; they cannot just change their voices, but can sound like a cat, a dog, a donkey, you name it and they’ll voice it. But the members of this society are extremely hard to specify and identify as they operate very secretively, they take up the sacred duty of expressing the feelings of their fellows with their impressive larynges. In a boring, monotonous and a highly mind-numbing lecture; they voice the frustration of students. In a highly complicated and incomprehensible lecture; they voice the anger of students, they are the heroes responsible for combating the teachers compressing the pitiable brains of students; but their appraisable quality is their secrecy, they never announce their identity and serve the suffering studanity (a word I just invented: humanity from humans and studanity from students) without ever taking credit for it openly.
You name it and they voice it…..
KSS (kemcolians spying society):
I think you would remember the “hostel spying bureau (HSB)” established by hostelites. Now that bureau is just a smaller branch of KSS. By the widespread fame and increasing branches of this society, it’s quite easy to speculate the success of this society and the place it holds in the hearts of students. This society requires no introduction, majority of the members are kemcolian ladies but the number of gentlemen in this society is also soaring higher and higher each day. The existence of this society proves that human beings are innately inquisitive and curious (usually about things that are not at all their business). The members of this society are known to never tell about their study routine “honestly”, they are known to show utmost interest in the study routines of every other person and they are well known to state openly that they have no interest in studies and spend all of their public time pretending to be “the cool kids”.
A few shots stealthily taken of the stealthy kemcol spies:
When they spy in the corridors…
When they operate in the lawns…
When they are active elsewhere…
There are many more unofficial societies in play, to be continued…