A New Home or Just a Punishment:
By Lubaba Mukhtar “not yet in 2nd year”
For the 1st year hosteller girls out there, it’s time to decide whether your hostel is going to become an abode of happiness for you or just a two to three week punishment from which you crave to run away.
By God’s grace and I’m very happy to acknowledge that you are being kept in a separate hostel quite away from KEMU old girls hostel and its regular boarders (your seniors, rats, cats and some other wild life). Although you are at a disadvantage in many ways but you do have one benefit (no ragging!!) Don’t gloat too much, I’ve heard some of my own friends and some seniors bragging that soon enough (as soon as they can make full recovery from the proff fever), they’re coming your way packed in rickshaws and fully loaded with new and old ideas to rag you. And as a dear friend of mine said and I quote that only if the seniors come to rag you, will you be able to come to Old Girls’ hostel to study the famous clavicle (obviously the toughest, hardest and most complex bone to study). It’s a give and take world, you can’t study clavicle without some compromise first.
Anyways, I didn’t start writing to scare you more than you already are, I’m just writing to give you some hostel survival tips that I learned the hard way.
First things first: you’re not the only girl who was a princess back home, everyone was treated with the same love and care so there’s no need to think that you’re the only one suffering around the place. I know all of us were experts in whining and complaining about everything at home but please, the more flexible and compromising you are, the better off you’ll be. “Good roommates and good friends”, if you find these jewels, thank God everyday because the glitter of these jewels will get you out of many tight spots and many dark places numerous times.
Learn to share even if you have never shared even a crumb before, sharing melts away all the walls of formalities and gives a clear message that you care. If you don’t like a girl in your room, in the next room, or in the room next to the next room; give her a chance, she might turn out to be a better person. Don’t judge people with just the first experience.
You’re homesick? No problemo!! Talk to your friends, chat with them to your heart’s content (that’s what we girls are best at, right?) tell your life’s stories to eachother, if talking doesn’t help; again no problem!! Try out crying (that’s a thing we girls are second best at). You all have your kettles, go buy some snacks, invite the next door neighbors or if you have enough room mates, then be content with them. Have a little kitty party. Make tea for yourself and for others and again TALK about what you are feeling. 90% of the time, the girls around you are also feeling the same. And trust me when I tell you that calling your parents, crying on the phone and worrying them to death will not be of much help to you or to them, they can’t do anything about it except worry, so give the people around you a chance to solve your issues.
If you have a problem with sleeping with the lights on, then dear lady: it’s your problem. My roommates had this problem in the beginning but they learnt to sleep with their eyes covered with a dupatta or something (be creative)!! But if I’m asking the ones who have a problem with light, to compromise, I’ll also request and suggest to those who have natural speakers in place of their larynxes; some people have a sensitive sleep so please, if someone’s sleeping; have a little regard, try to keep your speakers in control for a bit. Not everyone in this world is blessed with the indifference to sleep “ghoray bech ke”!
This is also a blessing!!
This sensitivity of sleep is not in anyone’s control. You have a problem controlling your sound system, imagine please; would you not care if your mother or father were sleeping and they needed a little quiet.
Really??? I didn’t know that!!
In your life In a medical college; there is a capacity for everyone to win, so help each other out selflessly in studies. Grow up a little and throw out the natural seed of jealousy planted in every woman’s heart. If you can’t throw it out, at least try to stop watering and nurturing it. If someone studies a lot and you don’t have the stamina to study as much, don’t worry; it’s their business.
Honestly speaking, you don’t look as cute when you cry!!
You may not understand now, but the less you care about what or how much somebody else studies and how many marks somebody has scored in a test or substage, the happier you will be. One of the most important rules of eternal bliss in hostel life is minding your own business as far as studies and marks are concerned. But this minding your own business doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t help anyone. Helping a damsel in study distress: allowed!!
If you have friends in other rooms and they often come and have a noise making competition in your room then don’t forget: you’re not the only resident there. Have more regard for the rights of your roommates then your friends because many a time when your friends are busy making noise elsewhere, it is your roommates that will come in handy. You want to chat; want to have fun; go outside in the corridors or grounds (I don’t know if you have any) to enjoy.
A very important thing to remember: some people have a tendency that they want to be a good person in everyone’s eyes. Please take only as much responsibility and burden that you can bear for a long time because when you’ll not be in the mood to fulfill that responsibility, you’ll be charged as guilty although it wasn’t your duty in the first place. For instance: you like to keep everything clean, that’s all right, clean up your own bed, bags, etc. But if you get so overwhelmed that you start cleaning out your roommates places on a daily basis then my dear that will be your responsibility forever. And I don’t think you are ready to do that. Help out others in daily chores sometimes, that always strengthens your friendship with the other person but don’t try to replace their moms because you can’t!!
Some people have a bigger brain, some of you have a normal sized brain like me so it might take you a longer time to learn stuff; don’t worry about that, it’s absolutely natural; you may very well be blessed with something that they don’t have.
If there’s someone in your room who doesn’t talk much then don’t label them as a sourpuss, people have problems that you and your not so mature minds can’t even imagine. Give them time, try to befriend them, they usually come around (except for a few who are actually idiots).
Some around you will have a habit of showing off, some will have a habit of never cleaning up after themselves, some will never press their clothes, some will look in the mirror all the time, some will take too many selfies, some will always be late, some will have a habit of crying, some will be too loud, some will be too shy; all these things DO NOT MATTER as long as they are present singly and not all of them together in one person. As long as they are present singly or perhaps a pair or a triplet of bad habits are there; please learn to ignore them. If you’ll observe with a kind eye, you’ll usually find so many qualities that they will overshadow these demerits.
Some of you were the eldest at home, some were the middle child and some were the youngest and about 80% of you are spoilt. You are irritated with someone’s mommy daddy attitude, again, give the person some time. Hostel life is the cure to all such diseases. Most of the people grow up after a while (except a few of course who’ll always be the same and it is with a lot of grief and disappointment that I announce that I still haven’t found the cure for this pigheadedness).
Those of you who have a habit of showing off your dad’s money or your branded stuff; STOP RIGHT THERE! Just kidding, just stop for a while and think that not all are as blessed as you are, not all can boast off as you can. So, try girls, please try to be more human, and try not to hurt anyone with stuff like this that’s totally in your control.
You were all given the best food and nourishment at home; I know that, you know that!! So be thankful for what you had but be grateful for what you are still getting. And if you are not in that grateful a mood; no worries at all! Waris tikka zindabad, green chilli paindabad and I‘ve run out of slogans but not out of ideas for good places to get food from and within the range of a student’s limited pocket range. Contact a senior, get the number and order up all kinds of food to your heart’s content (feels like I’m advertising!) Ah well, when a person survives on this food, it doesn’t hurt to advertise it a little!! You’ll all learn much more than I’ve babbled, with your own experiences.
Be nice to others and be thankful to Allah and you’ll have a good life.