by Arwa Anwar (ex 1st year)
No diatribe regarding the grandeur of my university but beguiling is its air; just like HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE, (neither holy nor roman n nothing like an empire). You'll say "what? K.E is not like the dreamt of, thought of K.E? Perhaps flu affected your nerves also. ''I’ll clarify: for a person suffering from zoophobia, it seems more like an (ANIMAL PLANET); definitely not my childhood favorite channel, it’s about OUR LIFE live from K.E. Lets begin our VISIT TO THE ZOO the way it begins everyday.
Biology classes must have told you that these gentlemen (some might be ladies as well) inhabit tombs and shrines, and you at once come to know why they chose K.E; the home of once alive KEMCOLIANS (one of the most ancient places in Lahore)
Amidst your stroll to lecture theatres, (anatomy department in particular) these birds show their animal instinct; but this SWEET BLASPHEMY falls like the atom bomb on you and out of blue you feel sorry for the hundreds and thousands of all other victims of this catastrophe before you.
CHOOHAY (mouse n rat seem too civilized)
G.A told u the word muscle came from mouse (seriously??) if u call these hypertrophied hostellite creatures as mice then my lord; give me the right to call quadriceps femoris as biceps brachii and their mighty tail as Sartorius. They have been genetically mutated such that they no longer fear humans, and if this EVOLUTION continues, I don't think that the day is far when a chooha will be sitting on my bed screaming “get out of my room you filthy little human hostellite!"
You generate growling, squeaking, begging, daunting; all kinds of hideous tones from your throat to scare them but end up scaring yourself because they are are as brave as merida WHAT'S SCARY? Jack Torrance? No, zombies? No, kings ghost in hamlet? No, no, it is at once catching a look of something after which, all u remember is: “ammiiii bchaoooo!!!”
And don't freak out when you see them open the door like a boss !
TOM N JERRY SHOW
Not the whole show, only the friendship part: tom n jerry wandering all around the hostel together, arm in arm, enjoying their meals together. Happy times! And that explains why they follow Malthus’ law of population!
Two school of thoughts exist about them. Folk tales regard them as “THE WISE” And folks regard them as ULLU. Now the enigma is that they look like humans but are NOCTURNAL in habit, stay up at night, their noise of cramming anatomy fills up the air with mellifluous lullabies. They are the charm of darkness and like vampires they rush to their hidings at the day break. u got it right: They are the might, nocturnal, not so obvious theetas!!
Um no, I’m not kidding. Where do they live? INSIDE US...like horcruxes of Voldemort in harry potter. But they can only be strongly felt when a teacher asks you something in front of the whole class, mildly felt when your friend asks you something difficult considering you non gadha and you know what? You have no doubts about being a gadha when sitting in front of HOD in PROF!!!
I hope you all have a great time in your walks and talks with the cats, in your race to escape from the mighty pigeons and your ten feet jumps when a rat decides to greet you suddenly.