Chronicles of a freshman!
by Ayesha Saeed Malik, 1st year
You watch greys anatomy and you develop a thing for doctors, it burns in your chest until it morphs into the only beacon of light guiding you through a seemingly perpetual abyss of despair and doom -your academic journey! The torch continues to burn, to dominate every fiber of your being and then BOOM! there's an explosion of jubilation, a moment of epiphany, a time so unique in its rarity you go down in sujood and thank Allah for including you among 'THE BLESSED'. In that all-so-splendid-once in a blue moon moment, you find your name on the merit list; hence confirming your escape from a purgatory of uncertainty to the golden gates of heaven, a chance to live your dreams, to carve a better and brighter future!
On your first day of medical life you walk with a medal of valour, head high and proud, an aura of 'i own the world', faces fresh and spirits high Untill fate decides to be cruel and shoves you into a labyrinth haunted by ghouls of BASIC SCIENCES. Your innate survival instincts direct you to seek refuge in the advice of the veterans (your seniors).
Here, I don't know about you, but i'd find myself staring into the very soul of my demonstrator in dire attempts of focusing on what i am being diligently taught, but failing miserably every single time. Things of lesser importance would come as a gust of cold winter wind knocking down my guard and conquering all of my mind,rendering me absolutely incapable of listening to the lectures. Occasionally, they are more of a melodious lullaby than a source of 'enlightenment' and i find myself succumbing to a peaceful dreamless sleep, emerging from my nap,so fresh it almost feels like a re-birth,at the time of roll call. Or I'd wisely utilize my time playing ASPHALT instead.
But when the impending doom of substage nears, the air takes on a new toll, so contagious it begins to change your stubborn attitude.With a rusty start Your study-mode activates....finally! (Praise the Lord!!)And you find yourself deeply engrossed in books,studying everything or anything related to syllabus as if dear life depends on it.Within a week's span You evolve from being 'jack the goon' to becoming 'Mr. Know-it-all'. An incredible transformation, no? Saves you a lot of trouble and humiliation.
Behold, the day of dread! when all the nightmares come to life! It is lucidly portrayed by white coats scampering in a frenzy, their serene veneer stripping off, confident gait stumbling and the too carefully constructed bravado evaporating into thin air leaving behind a lonesome avator; busy offering promises and bargains in God's domain,his visage a mirror of pure remorse, his eyes fearful, his hands raised in supplication begging the Lord for His mercy! You find yourself amidst the lot doing the very same.
The stretch of time between after-viva till display of result has the uncanny ability to cease, prolonging your mental affliction unconditionally. The news 'result displayed' gives you a mini heart-attack that continues the entire walk through your classroom to the anatomy department. But the joy that follows after knowing you have Passed, is worth the excruciating wait.
Three substages in a row and you are a veteran too. But the STAGE....oh its the Lockness Monster! Three consecutive days of melancholy! Nobody comes out of it unscathed. It is when you wonder 'what am i even doing here? I am definitely going to FLUNK! My life is so screwed!How do people do this??!!?? I can't get through with one stage, oh Dear Lord how will i survive five freaking years???!!!!??? oh i am doomed!' more than you study.
But Allah gets you through all wordly hells, just fine. With perseverance and a little faith, you can overcome an ocean of obstacles. The mini heart-attacks, they make you stronger(considering you've survived many by now).The result-wait as agonizing as it maybe, teaches you patience.
Fighting your self-doubts and coming out victorious every time is the living, breathing proof that: YOU ARE THE BOSS!
As for medical its WORTH the torture as long as you get to say,"ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO SAVE LIVES" in the end.Because my friends, you run The Divine business of Healing, of curing, of lights of Hope!