Liar Liar Pants On Fire!
(Ahmad Jalil, 1st year)
So this is how it happens. You enter the university premises holding your BD, your eyes desperately moving all over the pages hoping to memorize everything. Then you look up to make sure that you're not gonna do a head on collision with another poor soul coming from the opposite direction, equally engrossed in some textbook. Then you return to your book. This sequence repeats itself for half a dozen times before you reach the farthest and the loneliest bench in pattiala ground. There you deposit your Shahbaz Sharif bag and start revolving around that bench, doing the oh-so famous 'pehli read men ratta lagana ha' ritual. After some time you sense someone coming your way. You look up to find that it's a friend of yours and he looks even more solemn than you do.
You: Hey mate! How's it going?He: ''Yar koi tayyari nhn ha , main ne fail hojana ha, I'M SO SCREWED!!!!''
He looks like he's about to faint. So you take pity on the poor soul. You put your book aside and spend whatever time you have left (oh did I mention that you bunk the 1st lecture to study?) in comforting him. Then you tell him about your own fragile preparation but somehow, he manages to make you believe that your preparation is way better than his.
You: ''Yar main ne srf reading ki ha.. It's like I only know the most basic aspects of these topics and........''
He: (cuts you off)"Yar na kr... tu ne reading krli ha?? main ne to book b nhn kholi!! Oh man Oh man, I'm so dead!!!"
I think you got the idea. But sadly, the scene changes dramatically after a couple of hours.
You: (After the substage) Yar ab jo aata tha suna dia, but the teacher didn't look very pleased. I could only answer the questions related to the bones, you know, ab Allah raham kre... "
He: Yar mere se to bones, un ki muscular attachments, their ossification, sb kuch suna. And like that wasn't enough, he then came towards the clinical points and asked me about Lombard paradox, Pes Cavus, Perthe's test etc. Phr us k baad he asked me about the retinacula and blood supply of some regions and a bunch of other very difficult questions, lekn tere bhai ne sb kuch suna dia! Yar buhat acha hogaya, tayyari nhn thi lekn phr b!!!!
So you stand there, looking at that baboon's ugly face and nodding along all of his blabberings, while fighting the urge to smack him right across the face. He totally forgets what he said just some minutes ago. In KE, people have this disease of lying whenever the question of 'preparation' arises. "Kuch nhn aata" , "Main fail hojaon ga" etc. But then when the result is displayed, you find out k un ko "Sb kuch aata tha" , "Aur wh top kr gye hn".
And sadly, there's more to it. The manifestation of this ridiculous phenomenon is not limited only between the friends. But your seniors do this to you as well. You go to them for getting some advices/tips and all you get is,
"Yar have you gone nuts? Who studies for this ? Just chill. Agr fail b hogye tb b khair ha. You are a kemcolian now, act like it...." But the truth is that they all studied really hard when they had the same exam some years ago. They either got top marks in their exams or at least aimed for that. And they still do that. They still burn the midnight oil in the safe premises of their homes/rooms.