8 characters which definitely don't exist at Mayo (and probably mostother hospitals)
1. House MD
First years, second years, and premature Kemcolians please leave all thoughts that there would be a super genius doctor who can tell anything and everything so people suffer his/her bad attitude. There are no super genius doctors here and we still have to suffer bad attitudes. There are some well learned, smart, well read or clinically competent doctors for sure but nope no one in House's ballpark.
Some say a certain individual related to our university has miraculous powers of diagnosis *cough* but since he doesn't practice at Mayo *cough cough* we will probably never know (although I think he would rather be Sherlcok Holmes or the real life inspiration any day). *dies of coughing*
2. JD and Turk
Yes guys I have said it. And I am sorry to all the cool acting people. If you think you are looking stupidly cool like JD -newsflash- you are just looking stupid. And although our college does have some bromances I don't see anyone in recent past-present or future that could make their bromance truly legendary.
3. Dr Drake Ramoray or Dr Derek Shepherd
Yes guys although you may think you want to do neurosurgery after watching McDreamy or Joey (highly doubt the second one) , you really don't. Specially in a department without any professor/associate/etc etc (heard a new professor was finally coming so keep your fingers that it becomes functioning ) . Btw yes neurosurgery department technically exists and can be found with other lonely departments in Emergnecy building.
4. Plastic Posse (in other words Mark Sloan and Jackson Avery)
Yes there is a plastic surgery department , yes it's without a professor and yes it's supposed to be one of the frontrunners in government sector (I shudder to think of what the others might be) . The good news is that it's in working condition , it is staffed and the interim head is really sweet (although if you are in fourth year you should probably say he is the best surgeon to ever walk on earth specially when passing near Community Medicine )
5. The Janitor (the character from Scrubs. I don't go idealising every janitor I see)
He is one of my favourite characters ever but yeah a character like that is as non-existent at Mayo as is the cleanliness. (Here I would like to state that I do appreciate the under-staffed and under-equipped department that is working at Mayo). Although come to think of it it would be a lot creepier that I imagined.
6. Dr Calle Torres
The department of Orthopedics lacked females on any notable position in the two weeks I was there (which was better than ENT which lacked any female doctors in the four weeks I was there). I know it's probably really difficult and you have to have certain physical qualifications but female Ortho and specially ENT surgeons are not that unheard of even in real life.
7. Dr Mark Greene , Doug Ross (or any cast member of ER)
If you have been living under a rock I hate to break the news but emergency medicine doesn't exist here. So in emergency you will be most likely to find junior doctors who are exhausted after OPD/ward with a guest appearance of relatively senior doctor. With the under staffed-tired doctors and equipment the quality and quantity of which can't be described in words you can't *i repeat* you cannot expect heroic saves although sometimes they have been known to happen which makes those doctors slightly miraculous.
8. The Forensic Examiners (any and all as they are pretended on media)
There's absolutely no similarity of our forensic department to a super-spying department. They do not solve crimes, do not solve centuries-old mysteries, don't really like doing autopsies, have no super-abilities or latest technology (I count this century as latest) and the most famous thing to ever happen in our Forenic Department was that a film scene was shot there. If you think Forensic is exciting , sleeping in first lecture will cure you.
(PS our department is still the main forensic department among very few in Punjab which makes it more sad)
So basically guys it's better to avoid medical dramas before coming to Mayo. (Alternately pretend that their medcine is something different that yours. Which it kind of is.) So you can be avoided the tragedy of finding the truths like no hospital goes as much excitement as Grey Sloan has, there is no state of art apparatus (like 3D printers) or miraculous surgeries (atleast here) , our departments suck even if they (mostly ) suck less than other government hospitals , psychiatrists don't have psychic powers (or eat their patients ) etc.