Unofficial societies at KEMU (part 2)
lubaba mukhtar 1st year
It took me some digging and research but at last I found out the remaining unofficial societies of the KEMU underworld.
King Edward Evils’ Society (KEES):
The members of this society are honest, diligent, disciplined, never giving up, work loving students and people who fulfill their duties with integrity (they’re like wood peckers, always busy with their beaks pecking something). They’re found in lecture theatres; if you can’t seem to locate them, start looking at faces hidden behind books. Their weapons are their notebooks and pens, always with them. These deadly weapons are used to hypnotize the irregular and indisciplined fellow students into believing that they’re useless (I don’t doubt they are, but making them realize this: that’s awfully cruel).
STOP YAWNING, YOU’RE DESTROYING THE PEACE OF THIS CLASS!!!
Why would I refer to them as “the evils”? Well, the fact is that these special creatures fail to have the innate human ability of yawning, getting bored of stuff that a normal person’s brain absolutely refuses to accept, feeling sleepy during classes or even missing a class. They are a hybrid of people who rebelled and rallied against “THE INNOCENTS” (read the description from part 1 of this blog) and KAS (kemcolians awaara society). Sometimes I strongly doubt that our university also has limited seats for aliens (you should observe these people, I think you’ll agree; sometimes I have serious fears that they don’t even blink during an important lecture)
Do not disturb...or else!!
Kemcolians Awaara Society (KAS):
This society holds members brave in spirit, sacrificing in actions and selfless at heart. They are responsible for making the air in which their class fellows breathe fresh; more saturated with oxygen and less polluted with carbon dioxide. They stay out of the already crowded and filled to more than their capacity lecture theatres so that their class fellows have more room to sit, more space to breathe and more area on the tables to sleep peacefully.
We are grateful to KAS for their kindness of abandoning the classes so we can enjoy the more roomy benches…
Special notice: Keep a tissue box near you in case you get too emotional reading about the sacrifices of these valiant students…
They are so highly dedicated to their cause that they do not even walk close to any lecture theatre in case the people inside are disturbed by the sound of their footsteps; they sincerely and wholeheartedly stay in the cafeteria and feed their stomachs so that their fellow comrades can feed their brains in the lecture halls (how inspiring!)
KHL (KemHOSTEL LOYALITES):
This is another society whose foundations were set firm and sturdy by students more loyal to their abodes than their university; more devoted to their dorms than their lecture theatres; more faithful to their soft beds than the hard wooden benches. At the start of every year, especially for 1st year, the number of people who sign up as members of this society, is pretty scarce but as the times goes on; there is nothing that can hinder the increasing popularity and population of this society.
The innocent feelings of KHL members…
They are not ever seen in the university except at very special occasions like a stage or a major test or an event that pulls them out of their lairs. They enjoy a grand life, a grand sleep and a grand freedom but not a very grand reaction at their arrival in university or lecture theatre.
Heyyy!! I think a senior has come to our class to mark someone's proxy (those who don't know the person)
(KHL member) you know it's rude to stare!!
(those who know the person) what is he doing here? is he ill or something?
Kemcolians bombing society (KBS):
Kemcolians bombing society (KBS):
They are well known for their cruelty and unsympathetic attitude throughout the student community. People avoid even standing near them because the bombs they drop on a person are deadly: seriously lethal. I haven’t had a first-hand experience of one of their bombings but I have seen people who have just had a bomb dropped on them and what a pitiable sight they present. Anyone would feel very sorry at their plight; what with their tachycardia, hyperpnoea, and electrocuted hair; they appear completely out of their wits.
whhatt?? Whhyy??? When??
You must be very curious by now about the talents of this society’s members. Well, the fact is that THEY ARE HUNGRY; and not just hungry for anything normal but wildly ravenous about the SAME knowledge in SEVERAL DIFFERENT BOOKS (how revolting!) The person I had met after the bombing had had the misfortune of hearing a conversation between two members of KBS where one member dropped the grenade: “it’s written in Grays Anatomy that ____ joint is of secondary cartilaginous variety” while the other very brutally aimed another bomb at the poor soul standing nearby: “NOooo!!! I read in Last’s Anatomy that it’s a primary cartilaginous one.” The first person: “I think we should check some other books.” After listening to this story of the victim’s suffering and pain; even I had great difficulty in gathering my senses for my sub stage viva. But one thing I learnt that day and have always advised others to follow as well is: whenever students are crowded in a room waiting for their turn for viva; STAY AWAY from that place because you never know when the ruthless members of this society might become active.
KING EDWARD FACELESS SOCIETY (KEFS):
This society needs no introduction: they are the entertainers and the rulers of the faceless Facebook world. Their main activities include getting into fights on a harmless post, threatening people to beat them up, passing comments that are bound to lead to a brawl and many more such things that make Facebook as interesting as it is for many people.
Don’t mess with me or I’ll show you my face…
Kemcolians Octopus Society (KOS):
The members of this society are jacks of all trades and masters of “some” (I can’t afford to write too much against all the popular kids of our uni… too dangerous). They are people who have restlessness in their souls and more stamina and energy than they can handle (I mean they could lend some of it to people like me). It’s pretty easy to try to find or meet them as they consider it their first priority and most important duty to be in every society’s organizing team, at every society’s dinner; and of course; in every event. My ardent wish is to get them tested for the number of mitochondria in their cells (I highly doubt that it’ll be normal). I am always amazed at their ability to be never fatigued and never tired of the marathon that their life itself is. If u want to see some members of this society; collect the brochures for all the “official societies” in our university and see for yourselves the people found in every group photo (not hard to find now!)
I’m so much more comfortable with my legs extended everywhere…
A brilliant formula (not my creation) has been devised to find out the society you actually belong to; no matter how much you hide your talents, you will be diagnosed with the right characteristics.
That’s all the unofficial societies I could find but there may be many more at work; keep your eyes free from distractions and your ears away from noise pollution and you might just see or hear their members at work.
Note: Read the first part of this post here.