Simple steps to ace any test:
by konpal mudassar 3rd year
Given below is the complete guide for anybody who wants to pass
class tests with flying colors.
Warning: Not suitable for theetas and those who actually
want to ace their tests.
1. Make a plan:
When you ask your class fellow about the syllabus:
Your probable reaction:
After well- acquainting yourself with the course, if you feel a sudden stabbing pain in your chest then:
Do not panic, it happens in about 90% of cases. Call an
ambulance and you might just survive.
and if some of you start feeling like you can’t breathe any more, it is advisable to take deep breaths or cut out the part of your brain that thinks.
when you have succeeded in overcoming the panic attack; quickly seek out a source of entertainment if you have long term plans to hold on to your sanity.
2. Sticking to
the plan:
Google “Inspirational
quotes” for motivation. But they offer little help, if any.
3. Giving up:
As the test date comes closer, you will find yourself in a very “uncomfortable”
position much like a trapped cricketer who has to score 18 runs in the last over. At this
time, it is crucial to keep telling yourself that you can do it! But a time
will come when your brain, your heart and every part of your body will just accept: "life is just not worth living". It is now time to slam the book shut and give in to the
intense urge to cry.
4. Denial:
You will watch a movie.
You will clean the room, clean the cupboard, and clean a lot more things. Get a call package, talk to old long lost friends or
distant relatives in the spirit of maintaining “good relations”. Go out to eat
with friends. And then end the night with a “few” more
movies. Anything to escape the grave reality. Test? What test? What does the word ‘test’ mean?
movies. Anything to escape the grave reality. Test? What test? What does the word ‘test’ mean?
5. Pulling self
together:
After denial, comes a guilt fueled bout of motivation. Shame is a very good driving force. Convince yourself that there is still a silver lining very deep, very far away inside the dark clouds. Open the book and start covering the topics with a lightning pace.
6. Accidently
oversleeping and depression:
Don’t you hate it? Just when you start getting back on track
you wake up early the next morning, you open your books and think:
“I will just close my eyes for 5 more minutes”.
With half the day
already gone, depression is inevitable.
7. Deliberately
oversleeping and indifference:
The depression lasts only for some time and is replaced by
feelings of indifference. Your motto: Sleep till you can sleep no more in order
to exercise your ‘free will’.
So, you spend the whole afternoon sleeping as well and when
you do wake up, you pass the rest of the day………….well: simply “sitting” and if
your roommate asks you what you are going to
do about the test. Your response:
do about the test. Your response:
\And if you are a day scholar, and your parents come into your room like:
Your reaction would be, “I just can’t study”
8. Make a
brilliant strategy:
When an Emotional breakdown is about to set, tell yourself:
“Go away mood swings,
come back another day, I do not have time to entertain you.”
9. Praying for
miracle and burning the midnight oil:
When you see no other way out, pray. Pray finally with a
sincere heart for a miracle to happen with the realization that nothing else
can save you.
“Ya Allah , ye test, bs ye test pass kara de!”
“Me agli bar boht acha
parhon ga”
Its time to put that stock of tea, coffee, energy drinks to use. Whatever helps you stay awake and tackle the beastly amount of work you have left to do.
10. Performing
well on “the day”:
No matter how good your preparation is, it ultimately comes
down to how well you do on test day. If you have faith in your preparation then
well and good, ‘fire away, may the odds be forever in your favor”
Otherwise, you will need to establish a system in the exam hall. A system for transfer of information from the knowledgeable to the not-so-knowledgeable i.e. you. Kill your self-respect and your fear of being caught.
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When your cheating tactics fail you! |
Test
result:
A week later, when you are going on about happily with your life. Suddenly you will hear the words “result lag gya”. What result? Oh, that test that I somehow managed to prepare for despite all the drama and then you are like:
You run crazily towards the
notice board with your breath stuck in your throat. Your Eyes search for your
roll number.
And then you will see
it. “Pass” on exact 50. Well, that was close! Looks like all your hard work did
pay off. So what if you are dangerously close to the edge. All is well as long as you make it over 50 even if it is just by a mere one mark.!
P.S. If you actually wanted to ace the test. You should have been studying instead of reading this blog.
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