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Living with 'alien cats' and surviving the 'cat fights' for allotments: The ultimate hostel guide (#For Female Freshmen)

by
Anum Ahad
Aqsa Mumtaz


Hey juniors!! First of all my heartiest congratulations to all of you, you have finally made it to KE. You are going to live your dream and trust me u won’t regret it for a single second. (IA)

-SO as you have finally achieved your goal I can imagine how desperate you guys are to know about the KE hostels n how to survive here One year ago , around this very same time, I entered the hostel. That old building, , scattered mattresses, fight for the room n finally getting the room (yes a room of 8 girls)and the aik mattress jitni jagah !


The first day was surely a nightmare for all of us , those scary walls, mysterious faces of other fellows, home sickness and fear of being ragged plus the most pathetic thing was our rooms, how we imagined n how they turned out to be

WELCOME BY CATS: One of the most happening thing was OUR WELCOME by the dearest CATS n RATS of our hostel. But we got used to it n all of this became a part of our adventure. so in the morning if u feel something fluffy in your blanket just don't get afraid of it because its our dear billi so tell her to get up because its university time

RAGGING:

At first all of you will hate your seniors for this but it’s the best way to get to know your seniors trust me . Seniors are going to be your best friends throughout, marking the important things for substages, telling you all about the short cuts dealing with your depression, making you feel happy, so aik raat k liye do whatever they ask you to do (otherwise toothpaste is always there!) so interact with them with the best of manners they will be kind towards you. And seriously you cant do MBBS without your seniors being there for your help.

HOSTEL CAFÉ:

The main thing you all would be curious about is the so called hostel CAFÉ. Although it doesn’t look a like a café but its still the king edward girls hostel café.The menu is very appetizing by name e.g KASHMIRI DAAL CHAWAL, AFGHANI PULAO, SINDHI BIRYANI e.t.c but the taste of this food is .. well.. not-so appetizing but no worries AL KAREEM, FOOD VALLEY(042-37323938), WARIS TIKKA(042-37234371), SALT N PEPPER will always be at your service.

HOSTEL AUNTIES:

And to add something more to your fun let me tell you about the HOSTEL AUNTIES !! they will act like your godmothers in front of your parents but later........they don't even come regularly in your room for cleaning up the mess. And whenever they will come n you will ask them aunty ap kal q nhin aein?? she will give you a smile n would say beta kal hi nhin ae parson to mein ae thi apk room mein nhin ae bas

HOSTEL WASHROOMS:

You step in one washroom and step out because shower is not working then u step into the next n then step out because lock is out of order then you enter the next one and step out because there is the most frightening thing for the girls n that is COCKROACH..n then only one washroom is left n you have to wait there for your turn because there are so many people outside..
As u get into the hostel dear pretty ladies who want to become prettier u don't need to use any beauty creams because deewaron sy girnay wali white wash is sufficient for this purpose.
Now that I have hopefully sucked all the happiness out from you who are soon to be the hostellites let me tell you that despite of these dreadful conditions, despite the PROF depression, despite of EVERYTHING that place is now my second home and last year has been the BEST year of my life seriously !!

As every coin has two faces likewise despite of all these fearful conditions hostel life has its own charms and the most important of these is the GROUP STUDY FUN. Without that i guess i wouldn't have been able to clear my stages n papers. ALL of my substages were passed just because of my friends. Not only substages we prepared group study even in send ups n prof too n it really helps you a lot to get through this lengthy n creepy syllabus in less time. I still remember in physio send upwe had our whole CVS left with us and the chap about Shocks maham ny kraya in just 30 mints n we did whole CVS the next morning in 2 hrs The point is group study makes your study easier whereas on the other hand day scholars have to read the whole chapters by themselves so hostel life has this great advantage

Moreover you get ''seniors guidance'' as well which is the basic thing to get through all the exams, they tell you the shortcuts, whenever you r depressed they make u feel light by telling you their stories so it’s a great fun though. I still remember how we used to rush to FAZILA baji’s room and got ourselves free from the never ending PROF depression.

HANGOUTS :

The most exciting thing about hostel life is that it gives you a sense of independence. Although hostel gate gets closed at sharp 10 o’clock but that is just a formality whenever you will come you have to plead to the guard uncle with your innocent faces n he will open the gate for you so jab marzi MALL sy ao no worries at all. So go out, have a walk around, eat stuff u want to because there is much variety out there in anarkali ... and I guess its the best chance to explore LAHORE.

ANDt you will have hell fun at HOSTEL FUNCTIONS that is the best thing in our hostel, you will get a chance to expose your hidden dancing talent there at hostel function, ONE SIMPLY CANT MISS THE HOSTEL FUNCTION these functions will give u the most memorable moments. We surely enjoyed in each n every class’ hostel function amd contributed in it as if its our own function. I still remember our contribution in 4th year’s hostel function just one night before our 3rd substage n we did pass that susbstage and a similar case happened during our thorax stage so these functions are the glory of our hostel you will surely enjoy them
so summing up all this in the end there is just one most important tip for you people i-e be very careful while choosing your friends and the most imp thing to survive in hostel is GOOD FRIENDS ,without them you cant imagine your life there...so be careful in choosing your close friends but be nice to everyone if you want them to b nice with u as well . in start people will approach you just for you merit base allotment but be very careful of all these selfish acts
SO ALL THE BEST TO YOU!! YOUR TIME HERE WILL SURELY BE THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE AND YOU WILL FEEL HONOURED TO BE A PART OF KEMU !!
courtesy: muzna n maham

...............................Anum Ahad, Batch '17



Disclaimer : the following article is meant to tell u about the conditions of hostel and the event/ examples narrated are based on experience..all the characters in this article r non fictional  and any resemblance with any person or event is purely intentional. 
P.S. this is a very long one…….. 
So most of the girls who r going to the next CREME DA LA CREME will be hostellite so as a senior its my duty to inform you whats in the package for you…………….

  • THE CLEAN FREAKS(thee rare ones): these girls never ever go eat or do anything which even has U of anything that is unhygienic..their rooms r always tidy bedsheets made utensils washed not a speck of dust here or there… believe me they can get really irritating with their ewwwsss ufffss n OMGsssss…

  • TIP : during their clean freak attack close your ears and PHOOOP vanish…..

  • THE MAMA'S/PAPA'S girls : these doctors always wished to be a kemcolians and some even went against their families to come here but then after a day or two realized the worth of their parents and the safety of homes (in case u wonder against what its ragging AAFCOURSE !!!!!!!!!!!!) and there goes the flood of tears here there everywhere they r actually the crybabies And few of them even claim to get transferred to their hometown after two years………………. 

  • THE ADVENTUROUS ones : from day one these doctors sahibs will discover new areas to eat and every free weekend will plan to go a new place to discover the various colors of lahore and they r always full of stories of what happened here or there….

  • THE NAUGHTIEST ones : they tend to do every naughty thing remotely possible in hostel…from the patakhay in hostel or scaring friends from ghosts to wrecking their friends room in their absence (if u know how to break the lock :P) or locking them up or hiding their shoes they wil go to any extend in order to have fun (thug harmless)

  • VERY SERIOUS THEETAS:(the depressors) when you girls will come in hostel you will see the famous stairs on which these people are always found chahye sari ho ya grami even in those rare days when there is no test around for a week or two….they will open books from day one and their books unlike others won't get closed after two months  :P

  • THE NON SERIOUS THEETAS: They never study regularly but a day or two before tests they even surpass the depressor theta group and their results always amaze everyone.. 

  • THE ALWAYS FRIGHTENED ONES : they are really funny ones always scared of this and that they will make you laugh hard with their craziness of why they r frightened of cats lizards mice etc etc…………(they can get irritating sometimes) they will always avoid risks in fear of getting caught or getting short attendance.

  • THE GOSSIP GIRLS : though most of the girls gossip these girls surpass everyone they will go in every room peek in every room and they will know abut every story in hostel..(beware of them :O)

  • THE CHAMCHAss: they are the famous ones always found did seniors they worship seniors and a word against seniors is like a curse to them :P 


 THINGS YOU ARE SURELY GOING TO HATE ABOUT HOSTEL:

RAGGING:

All of u have seen three idiots right???? (just mentioning....:P:P)heheehe (smiles evilly :P) thats the thing you r gonna hate but seniors will love it..actually u r highly awaited so that seniors can rag you……. every year freshmen claim that they will not do ragging but after 6 months or so they start making plans about ragging..
a senior once told me to get ragged because it will be worth a story to tell to your children :P so i highly anticipated my ragging (i got ragged once only)but regretted it afterwards (though now I enjoy reminiscing about it)..seniors will rag you in a friendly way or they can make you do things that you will feel embarrassed to tell anyone..they can make you cry and laugh that depends solely on the type of senior ragging you..but do not try to resist them for it will turn out bad for you..my friends resisted and they were ragged really badly (trust me)so get it done..and consider it as a interaction between seniors and juniors..these seniors will be your guides and tutors later on … so keep calm and get ragged :P

MESS: no words you can try it yourself and understand our pain :(

LIZARDS : these scary creatures r also found in the tiny vicinity of your dear hostel and they can fall any time anywhere …so beware of them

CATS : a lot a lot  of them… they never get scared.. they will invade your room (one even gave babies in mine) and wreck it….never will eat a mouse or even go near it… they are the fattest and the laziest creatures in hostel whose sole purpose is to scare the hell out of girls……….they can eat anything (i once saw one eating a cake out of dustbin URGGGHHH !!!!)

MICE : they are available in all sizes large medium or small..they have specific areas and invade only them rarely go to new places…..

HYGIENE : not good…….the maids spend all their time talking and fighting and give little time to cleaning the rooms washrooms etc….the only time hostel shines is when the warden comes for a visit once in a blue moon :P

POLITICS : that's the thing i hate most about hostel..the girly politics…it is even scarier during allotment(discussed underneath)….and there is nothing you can do about it….except to ignore it and if your name come amidst them do not get stressed as these things reside after some time…….and soon your issue will be forgotten

ALLOTMENT: you are sure gonna hate that…..speaking in academical terms there are two types of allotment

TEMPORARY : this event happens on the first day of your hostel life in which girls fight over a piece of land on which you can lay your mattress and your whole world is that piece of land..it may be with seniors or with your own classmates both r a hell of an experience…and have their benefits...

PERMANENT:this event occurs probably in march and now you will be given those rooms which all the  seniors rejected…….before the allotment period you will be under a lot of stress and pressure and optics will be high among u..the high merit achievers sometimes misguide you about the room they r gonna take as if you have the ability  to snatch the opportunity from them and some girls asks you to be their roommate and then forget about it…you will dejected low and sad during this period…its the breaking point of your hostel life……….During the time of allotment u will be gathered in a ground and will be called one by one in front of warden (merit wise)….after allotment just like before allotment there r slots of fights tears but still the worse time has passed and somehow each one of you has survived (no matter how)…….. 

 THINGS YOU WILL LOVE ABOUT HOSTEL : 

STUDY GROUPS : they r always fun because you do not study a word but still  learn a lot of things (curricular or non curricular :P)

LITTLE BIRTHDAY PARTIES : you feel stressed out or missing your family so just grab ur friends and plan  a surprise for your friend whose birthday is next…...
ALWAYS HAVING FRIENDS AROUND : your friends become ur family in hostel.you learn to rely on them share ur problems with them laugh with them go out with them..they r the ones who will make u smile when u break down..they will teach u a nite before a test when u feel stressed out….hence they r the ultimate survival kit of hostel and ur hostel life becomes fun because of them.
hostel functions: aahh i love them..even if its not urs just go in that clumsy condition u r in and enjoy it….they r fun to watch 

SENIORS : at first u will hate them for they will rag u but they r the ultimate advisers..telling u about the teachers.before a test when u haven't studied a word they will tell u the tactics of cheating and ofcourse important questions..some will even tutor u sometimes..they will retaliate their experiences and will relate to urs..they will help u relax when u r stressed out….they will be always there if u need them and will answer to ur problem and guide you every time..hence in hostel apart from ur friend they also make  ur life easier….

HOSTEL IN PROF MODE : prof is a type that will certainly leaves you stressed out and will test the limits to which u can endure it. it breaks you down and there r tears here and there……but in hostel u have your friends who r going through same misery as you and they will make it a little bit bearable..you will be inspired and encouraged by them………they will be your guides discussing topics and telling u the important points…u will make new friends during this time...

HOW TO MANAGE STUDIES IN HOSTEL : being in medical is difficult..the burden of tests substages stages everything leaves u stressed out..in hostel everywhere r the depressors and on the days u feel low they make u feel even lower and u want to escape this hard life where there is only one thing STUDIES………but u need to manage it and avoid such a situation…first try to find how u learn more either by listening teaching or writing..apply that style…find the environment that suits you..if you can not study in noise use headphones (if u haven't done before u ill get used to it after some time and it also proves effective in some cases ) or find a spot outside ur room where u can study best…..but in the start do not take studies too seriously. Relax and enjoy. learn to balance your fun with studies……also enjoy but do not isolate yourself from studies altogether for it may prove disastrous afterwards….study in groups ,discuss things, share knowledge for that's how u learn more……
HOW TO SURVIVE HOSTEL LIFE : its difficult being a hostellite ..away from ur family and friends..its a new environment to fit in new faces new people new ways new life but with the guidance of right people and with the right people you can make tis time a memorable one. It will take sometime but once u get used to it its fun.if u feel stressed then talk to a senior or a friend..share your feelings…do not limit urself to ur room visit ur friends room ,do go out and explore the city and its marvels..dine out and enjoy..live a little…..
if you want to be alone with ur own personal space then go to the rooftop and enjoy the calmness and serenity ….it helps to clear ur mind and enables you to think clearly..that place calms u down...

THINGS YOU NEED : 

you will need everything from a mattress to lay upon to the tiniest of thing..plates spoon fork knife glass mug iron hangers a basket sort of thing to carry ur washroom things(shampoo soap toothbrush toothpaste etc) towels hence everything u use will be needed there…..bring ur laptops (dun worry if u dnt have one shabby uncle will soon give u one) watch seasons dramas movies etc bring novels if u like reading..

ADVICE: don't judge anyone too soon....neither trust anyone .. give it sometime and form an opinion after 2 months or 3........
do not insult seniors for they will rag u badly both in hostel and uni.....plus u need them to be your guide also...
BEING  a hostellite is a new experience you become independent learn to manage your expenses and gets a gist of the real life…enjoy this life to the most and make it a memorable one……and if u face any problem there do consult your seniors……because they will help u through it but before anything be prepared for the ragging because there is no escape out of it :P :P :P 
             --------------------------------Aqsa Mumtaz, Batch 17


(Surviving The 'Dorm-Storm'---The Ultimate Guide To a Happier Dorm Life!(#For Male Freshmen) coming up!)

Comments

  1. its annoying yar .. i mean itni famous university k itnay buray hostel.... ewwwww!

    ReplyDelete
  2. MAKE A HANDSOME PLAN TO FACE THE 'DEADLY' FOOLING

    ReplyDelete
  3. god...students will freak out after reading this about their future hostel...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm not an English teacher but I don't expect such quality level from a Kemcolian!

    ReplyDelete

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